INDIANA JONES
I hate snakes, and this elephant hunter's one of them!
I'll raise the Staff at the god of the Sun at 'im!
I'm famous for my movies, my boulder, my iconic look
You're only famous because of Alan Moore's fourth best book!
I never knew being able to hunt was a suitable requirement
Playing you made the guy playing my dad hit retirement!
You indulge in cocaine, a most deplorable habit
Wanna hunt something? Go hunt a rabbit!
ALLAN QUATERMAIN
For a teacher, you just can't stay in the classroom.
I'll bet the actors playing your girls didn't stay in the churchroom!
Let's face it, one of them wasn't even a bloody American,
Your self-centred country should be 'presented by a pelican!
I found King Solomon's Mines, fought alongside Umslopogaas
I even met a mammoth and a man frozen in the ice.
You insult me again, I'll stab you with my spear
Your ivory boulder will prove ineffective, I fear.
INDIANA JONES
Self-centred? Yeah, that's rich.
Your movie stole my ideas, you English sonuvabitch!
At least I pay attention to my biological son
Elephants ain't for hunting, dear Macumazahn.
I've tangled with cultists, Nazis and God himself
In your sequel, your author tried to put you on the shelf.
ALLAN QUATERMAIN
You seriously think your aliens can cause me to tarry?
Don't you dare imply I neglected my poor Harry!
Against a mad swordsman, you can't fight properly
Your rival plagiarised your intellectual property!
Marion says you really shoulda stuck with her
Rather than illegitimately fathering and adopting Chink litter.
Zikali will leave a taste in your mouth that'll be so bitter
That my verses will seem like a bloody light hitter!
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
WE'LL SEE!
No comments:
Post a Comment