SIR PERCIVAL GLYNDE
Ha ha ha! At last! 'Tis the Bad Baronet
Here to diss this philandering dissolute
You fucked someone's ward, and then you ditched her
Was that your child in the throes? Oh you must've missed her.
And the worst part is, you can't even say sorry.
No wonder the Duke must've left in a hurry!
JOHN WILLOUGHBY
Oh, no fun? Well that's just dumb.
You're no better than that Brando scum.
Your obsession with your bae is just creepy
But these days, your story comes off as weepy
Born out of wedlock, you strove to correct that ire
And all it made you do was die in a fire.
You manipulate every girl to the whims of desire.
But you're a cartoon villain without the attire.
SIR PERCIVAL GLYDE
EH? WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT MY PAST?!
Doesn't matter; 'gainst my bars you won't even last!
Count Fosco and I on Marianne our gaze shall cast
The whims of I shall never be half-arsed!
I'm evil, but you're unapologetically flawed
God only knows how many women you whored.
Your scandal was most deservedly abhorred
But this baronet has you completely floored!
BLACK MICHAEL
Did someone say bastard? Make way for me
The bastard son of Ruritania, direct from His Majesty!
Whose brother tried to take the crown that was rightfully his
I'm the master of Castle Zenda, which is where I kept him
But Rassendyll undid me, and so I left him.
My rhymes are better, and so I'm going into this din
The combatants are set, but it's Michael who's gonna win!
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
WE'LL SEE!
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