MALVOLIO
Pray, forsooth, have you no wit, manners nor honesty
But to participate in this battle devoid of modesty?
You're making an ale house of this battle, but I'm the star
How anyone can like you is really bizarre!
Your tomfoolery is not to be laughed at
You're weak and ineffectual, and just to be scoffed at.
To Lady Catherine, you rather pointlessly grovel
But you're a pompous fool, who's never read a novel.
MR COLLINS
You're one to talk, but I'm one to rhyme.
This Austen character's got his own paradigm
At least I landed a decent enough spouse.
You wound up for a week in the nuthouse!
I glunkadunked your yellow stockinks, cross-gartered
But for your crush on Olivia, you're hopelessly martyred.
You despise all entertainment, so I shall be quite plain:
Our silly frolics are probably the only things you disdain.
MALVOLIO
My master, are you mad? To think yourself good at verse.
By the time I'm done, you'll be leaving in a hearse.
You gabble like a tinker, but en't you a stinker?
Your wife manipulated you and you bought it, hook line and sinker!
Your romance with Elizabeth is fake, and could be more discreet
Your obsession with beauty is off the beat!
All you want is children, but not to do much to get it
Your hatred for the Bennets consumed you 'cos you let it!
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
WE'LL SEE!
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