THE MOUSE KING
Me?! Battle this psychotic rat!?
It's beneath my dignity, so Sammy take that!
From Hoffman's brain, I sprang forth to challenge you.
Every one of my seven mouths is looking to disparage you.
What kind of rat tries to eat a cat and still comes off a failure?
Maybe you should've thought about the size of it like your behaviour.
You're nothing more than some prat who can't handle a rolling pin.
You traumatised a poor kitten, and you couldn't even win!
SAMUEL WHISKERS
You got curb-stomped by a slipper from some stupid little girl,
Your loss against the humans really makes me want to hurl.
You're only evil 'cos your mum wanted some fatty meat
And cursed a princess, so your fate was ironic and neat.
All your crowns were stolen after you died.
It wouldn't surprise me if the Stahlbaums skinned your hide!
I'm going to eat this hazbin with some dough and a pat of butter
'Cos you'll know better than to mess with a rat from the gutters.
At least I did something, what you did couldn't be shiter.
When I've battled you, you'll be forgotten - like your writer!
MOUSE KING
You yourself ended up going on the run.
All you ever did was inspire kittens to kill rats for fun!
Your books are dated, and very, very twee.
My book's a classic, one of the best kids books in Germany!
Written by one of the best Romantic authors since Goethe
Yours were written by an old woman whose deaths hurt her.
Go vanish from the page, like you did when Norm died.
Once I've tormented you in your brain, I'll make you my slave.
And then Farmer Potatoes will send you to your grave.
SAMUEL WHISKERS
I was created from Beatrix Potter's productive brain
You were ripped from folklore by some consumptive Prussian
Even Spider was a better rat king than you'll ever be
Oh, I'm sorry, forgive my manners, Your Majesty
But your mind games won't do me or anyone else good
Humans are things that mess with you never should
I terrified Tom Kitten and made him afraid of mice
And in BP's books, I only ever appeared twice.
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
WE'LL SEE!
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