BLACK BEAUTY
In this contest of horses, I’m the father-fucking best
I’m better than Bucephalus! You, you have no zest
I appeared in a novel, a worldwide bestseller
You only appeared in a short story, you sly old fella
You freaked out and murdered your handler
Almost lost the race: I’ll call you Adam Sandler
Sherlock Holmes could see your guilt a mile away
Let’s just say you didn’t win the day.
SILVER BLAZE
Think I intended to murder the human? Bitch, please
You’re the worst thing to happen to a horse since fleas
You didn’t exactly have a life that was better
From Squire to Cab-horse, you found yourself fettered.
I'm sure your character can't possibly persist
Without my help, Haddon's Incident wouldn't exist.
BLACK BEAUTY
Joey was leagues better than you, so quit bluffing!
I'm the hero of my novel, you're just a McGuffin!
I saved a rider of mine from a flooded bridge.
You didn't even hide your crimes just a smidge!
I made people treat horses better, and stop whipping 'em
Your legacy involved attacking stable-boys and tripping 'em
SILVER BLAZE
Dear old Bucy was afraid of his own shadow
To compare yourself to him is rather callow
Bree, Fledge, Artax are better examples than you
Of characterisation and the things humans spew
Your girlfriend died, but your war takes the cake
The Trojan Horse was better, and he was also fake!
You're bland as vanilla, and no racing Thoroughbred
So the glue factory's the only place that you're head!
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
WE'LL SEE!
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