I
SNOWMEN AND THE SNOW WORLD
In the beginning, the god Nix made the snow world. He scattered his droppings across the sky and they became the sun, moon and eleven stars. He formed the earth below from a mixture of cumulus, some snowflakes that he had caught, and some nimbostratus. No creature could live on it, but Our Lord had a plan. And he gathered all the children of Muttongard in the year of the Common 813 and proclaimed unto them a mighty theme, and he spake: Children of the World, thou’rt special for a reason. Lo, I have created a new world and it doth need inhabitants. Therefore, thou must take it ‘pon thyselves to create some, for thou hast potential. At length, he did encounter pon a snowman who was aggrieved. What harries thou, my son? he asked. Oh woe is me, wailed the snowman, for I shall soon melt and am not long for this world. Our Lord informed him of the world he had created, and he was happy. Our Lord channelled the spirit of the snowman to the new world where he received new life.
Although the snow world was newly made as a paradise, the snowmen has absolutely no idea what to do in it. They had no government and no laws and there was much argument among them. So they begged Lord Nix for a king, to which Lord Nix refused, for he had created the snow world as a place where the snowmen would live peacefully, without being oppressed by the worlds’ governments. His large ears remained deaf to their pleas, and he sat in his palace temple. However, he conceded and appointed Vanderbilt, son of ten-year-old Olaf Ragnarsson, to be the king-president. This then, was his worst mistake. However, Vanderbilt was afeared of the burthens of royalty and was soon driven insane. His heart blackened and he would beat his subjects and melt them unto death. So Lord Nix created a portrait for him and said: Lo, this shall not be a picture of how thou dost wish to see thyself, but thou as thou truly art. Take it and do not thank me. Vanderbilt stored it in his castle yurt, and the more he oppressed his subjects, the more hideous and withered the portrait became. The Battle of Anzegebangabugu was the climactic battle which escalated the already age-old rivalry between the scarecrows and the snowmen. It began when Vanderbilt the Tyrant mocked the scarecrows’ god, the High Dingo, by saying “Go on, prithee, continue to sacrifice unto him. Maybe he is asleep and hath forgotten to instruct his attendants to wake him up at th’ appropriate time.” The scarecrows, furious that their god had been insulted, led an entire phalanx of their brethren from Albion to intervene at the plains of Anzegebangabugu on the nearby world of Ithana. Because both species are afraid of fire, both species used fire on their sides in the battle.
It was a very, very, very costly battle, and thousands of scarecrows and snowmen died. The snowmen realised how monstrous Vanderbilt was, and his insolence destroyed him. Some accounts claim that Vanderbilt later disappeared and the anarcho-syndicalist government of the snow world was later established.
***
Snowmen are not sentient until after they have melted. Upon entering the snow world, they become sentient and subject to a welcome ceremony into their new life. Snowmen do not eat (any food that they eat will go through them) and generally they can manifest in the mortal realm for one night every winter should they choose to do so. They are a deeply spiritual people, and are all-male. Because of this, they tend to have a reciprocal relationship with humans: children are needed to act as their parents, and they need children to make them lest they die out. They occasionally have parties in our world, which ordinarily involve sacrificial offerings of bread to their god. They can only enter the snow world if they have been melted by the sun; if they are consumed by fire, they die.
The snowman religion is henotheistic; while they claim adherence to a single god - Lord Nix - they also acknowledge, but do not venerate, deities other than him, such as his sister, the goddess of the water. Lord Nix, whose name is not uttered, is the god who has power over all snowmen. Bread is his favourite choice of sacrificial offering, and if it is not given to him, everyone must pay the price. His morality is unknowable, but he cares deeply for snowmen, and snowmen are his favourite species. Snowmen look down upon the human race, the inhabitants of Muttongard, and do not worship them. Nevertheless, they look to them as a necessary and valuable breeding source that they must cling to lest they die out.
The snowmen think very highly of Christmas, not for the religious or even the secular connotations, but because it is a time, ordinarily, that new snowmen are “born”. Because the snowmen are artificially produced, brought to life after they melt in the sun, AND all-male (no child on earth has ever made a snow-woman), they must depend on children or die out. That said, they do not celebrate the holiday itself, but they do hold a coming-of-age ceremony around this time of year for new snowmen. Other snowman social events include the Nical Olympiad, which mostly takes place on Muttongard, because that is the world snowmen manifest themselves in ordinarily. It may be that there are snowmen made on other worlds which they manifest into. The Nical Olympiad is a sporting event, normally hosted in abandoned Roman arenas, which involves racing and jumping among other things. However, due to a combination of Vanderbilt’s tyranny and the fact that they manifest in Muttongard, they are unknown to most of the multiverse.
The snowmen do not have any royalty. Their government is primarily anarcho-syndicalist, and yes that does mean they take it in turns to act as a weekly executive officer, and have decisions ratified at a weekly assembly meeting. Due to the sheer number of them that keep changing every week, listing incumbents to the position would take far too long. However the way they keep the system going depends on the fact that the council does not have all that much to do. Since snowmen do not ordinarily live long enough in the mortal realm to commit sins and vices, the snow world is ordinarily a peaceful place.
The giant eagle which sits at the furthest edge of the snow world is ordinarily unnoticed by the snowmen. Ordinarily, they pretend not to see it, despite the fact that it was later introduced by Lord Nix as a favour to them. When it flaps its wings, the winds are created, which keep the snow world cold. The giant eagle may or may not be related to the ziz, but no evidence has been found to support this connection.
The snowmen are the primary developers of the I refute it thus technique.
II
HISTORY OF THE VUNFRAEN EMPIRE
The Vunfraen Empire was established by the Emperor Aelfric I, who founded it on the basis that the quadrupedal species should rule over the bipedal species. He also instituted the Thot Police, his own royal guard. The Thot Police pride themselves on their blind service to the Empire. Aelfric was a proud warrior leader but also a great thinker and manipulator, who defeated a soul-eating monster that was threatening his kingdom. The emperor found its lair, and pretended to be offering up his soul to it, but then spazzled (this being the equivalent noise to laughter that the Vunfraen species makes) before saying, “Goodly sir, there is no such thing as a soul. It is purely a philosophical concept.” Believing its only source of sustenance a hopeless fantasy, the monster hurled itself to its death, and Aelfric reigned for six-hundred years of his species’ natural lifespan, taking Empress Noo as his wife. They sired a litter of fifty-eight offspring (the average number for a Vunfraen litter) who all fought each other as though in combat. To keep them under control, Aelfric took them to see a hanging.
It is often believed that Aelfric and his line are descended from the god Xandilon. Interviewed about this, the deity responded, “Absolutely not. That’s wacky nonsense.” However, as tends to be the case in things like this, the belief surpasses the reality, and Xandilon continues to support the empire as its patron. One son of Aelfric’s, the future Royal Emperor Balderius Cappermire I, famously banished a demon with a work of art of it which looked so convincing that the demon believed it to be its own reflection. His brothers and sisters were all appointed regional governors of the empire, which then spanned its entire world, namely World Wwardenfell. It was when Emperor Balderius II began his conquest into the next door world, since he was one of the few to learn the magic paw gesture that could cut between worlds and abused it for personal gain.
The world next to Wwardenfell, World Tzigatze, was occupied at the time by another species: the Garleks, they who call themselves the worshippers of the Holy Parrot. The battle was devastating for them to fight, not only because the Garleks were invulnerable but also because they could kill with a fire-gun attached to their bodies. This was the first time anyone on the World Oak heard their dreaded battle cry, “BURN IN THE NAME OF THE PARROT!” Eventually, after the loss of countless lives, the Vunfraen reached a peace settlement with the Garleks. Despite this, the secret to the Vunfraens’ imperialism was boundless, relentless conquest. Conscription was commonplace in the Empire, and anyone with magic in particular was highly valued — as an expendable. The Vunfraen Army still prides itself on being the healthiest, fittest and most efficient army in the entire World Oak. It also prides itself on its brutal discipline. During one particularly crushing defeat at the hands of the Ada species, it was decreed that the XLI Legio Vunfraniae, the forty-first legion of Vunfraenia’s army, would be decimated; that is, having at least the tenth member of their ranks killed.
The Emperor Cloxas I was a lover of the arts, recruiting the Xabdion artist Stana Crenn to compose the national anthem of the empire, “Hail Vunfrania”, and Zurner Vogg to design the flag of the Vunfraen Empire. Cloxas loved to paint himself; he used to hold private parties where his guests would watch him paint with his paws, for hours on end. He designed crude pictures but one which surpassed the average crude picture. He was kindly, handsome and he truly believed that everyone was capable of that artistic talent; however, this ignored the fact that, no matter whether it was due to the shape of their paws or their stance or their state of apathy, not everyone was capable of doing so. He was succeeded by a line of Emperors, the names of whom are: Ardek I, Ardek II, Ardek III, Maxilaus I, Debnum I, Gordian II, Thargon I, and Varsen Maxilon Archilaus XL. Many of these emperors died either as a result of their own flaws or were killed in battle. Maxilaus I was a noted patron of the arts and patron to the dwarven composer Santilon, who composed the Symphony on a Hammerplant. Santilon despised the Vunfraen composer Doku who he decried as a “musical gremlin”. So it was no surprise that there was much rejoicing when Santilon died. It was around this time that the Great Imperial Library of Vunfraen City broke down; this was owing to a rejuvenating faun inside the library, who only narrowly managed to survive. The emperor published a law which dictated that none of the faun population of Vunfraen City were ever to enter a building while they were rejuvenating (that is, exchanging their bodies for another when they got too old). Fauns, after all, are a species which were never really accustomed to city life. With some intervention from Fornus, the god of the fauns, the rejuvenation process was changed to a mere morphing face.
After his death at two-hundred-and-fifty years of age, Emperor Varsen Maxilon Archilaus XL was succeeded by his son, Vardonia, father to the current Emperor, Varsen Maxilon Archilaus XLI. Varsen is, to put it bluntly, an intolerable egomaniac. He places emphasis on using taxes to fund himself and his needs rather than those of everyone else. His son, Cana, opposes his father’s eccentric tendencies. The young Prince was stalked once by the notorious stalker, Mr Menn, infamous for his wide-spreading grin and his monumental idiocy. Mr Menn obviously prided himself over not being able to do anything right. Menn attempted to seduce the prince because he was handsome for a Vunfraen and that was all that mattered. He attempted to sneak onto the palace territory, and was brutally gunned down by a Garlek before he had even left the great banqueting hall.
If he had thought a little more carefully, he would have left off the damned Prince and still be alive today, but he was felled by his own stupidity, and that’s all that matters. Menn was noted as not speaking much, but when he did speak, namely for a talk on the Art of the Amasetten Alliance, he had this horrible voice that disgusted his audience and factored into his decision never again to speak. What he had failed to notice is that the Garleks had been employed as guards around the Palace, as part of an agreement with the Garlek Empire, of which only vestiges remain today. We can only imagine the horror on his face as he stood there in the great banqueting hall, his face livid, and the cry of the Garleks’ “EGGSTIRRINGEIGHT” ringing in his ears.
To this day, the Empire continues to be the most successful nation in the multiverse, altogether comprising fifteen-hundred worlds. They continue to be a bastion of progress and ingenuity, proof that a quadrupedal species can rule everything if they so choose, and a pinnacle of everything that is overtly nice.
III
THE KANGAROOS
The kangaroos are an ancient species who reside in seclusion in the world in which the Greene Knight originates. Technically, they are known as the itaritu, the Younglet People, and their job is to guard the treasure of the World. The reason they guard the treasure is because it was appointed their sacred task by the god Zokkoth, the one who has a falcon for a head. Zokkoth left it there for the good of the world. The kangaroos discovered their sacred duty after they tried to remove one lapis lazuli from the cave, after which it turned to stone. Therefore, they take their honour very seriously.
The kangaroo language is often claimed by scholars to be the mother tongue from which all the languages of that particular world originated. This, inevitably, allows the kangaroos to communicate in what is generally referred to as Multiversal Vasik, the common language spoken in the multiverse.
The kangaroos are very insular, cannot travel between worlds and do not interact much with the outside world. This is because they are stuck guarding the treasure and thus cannot allow themselves to move away from it. Sons and daughters alike are brought up to guard it - the daughters at least until they reach physical maturity, where it is generally agreed upon that they are not supposed to do so. Kangaroos are named at an elaborate naming ceremony where “-fub” is added on the end of the name that is chosen for them as a patronymic.
One particular point in Multiversal Standard Year 0665, one kangaroo, Besdalfub, was captured when young and taken to the city of Choppenham, where he was exhibited and mocked. It took one musclebound warrior kangaroo and one really drunk scarecrow to rescue him from the cage. After Besdalfub’s rescue, the kangaroos employed guards to protect their colony, armed to the teeth with spears and knives. If anyone tried to come near, as was the case with poor Arestire, whom Erik and Oriel would later encounter in the cave, they would be impaled on a stalagmite.
The kangaroos did, however, receive as guest the barbarian hero Dola the Barbarian on his quest to slay the mighty Ashpurtle, the Monster of Monsters. This is because of the law of hospitality that has to be obeyed in all worlds, lest the gods apply extreme punishment on the person who abused their right to receive guests. Dola the Barbarian later met Zobrek, an evil thief who abused this law and cut him into pieces with his claws. The kangaroos received relative peace and quiet as a reward for their hospitality, remaining insular for another five-thousand years.
In the interim, Morc the Proud began his tyrannical rule over World Zemmelich. A gargantuan yellow fiend of the vaguely reptilian Darsanian species, he imposed harsh laws, including the one that the Zemmelichians still practice today: it is prohibited to paint landscapes without a licence. Even laziness on pain of death was instituted as a major infraction of the law. Morc also used killer warships to bomb vast swathes of Zemmelich, rendering much of its land inhabitable and useless for anything pertaining to species settlement. Only the land around the Greene Chapel was spared, due to the Greene Knight’s magic.
Morc was later slain by a mysterious spiky-furred paladin knight known as Aldebrand, who may have just finished his status as a squire. Aldebrand is said to have slain him with his sword, forged with dragon’s breath, the only weapon strong enough to kill him. Morc left no legitimate issue and thus his empire soon dissolved, after a couple of decades struggling to hold itself together. However, the damaging effects of his empire still linger. King Jennic ruled Zemmelich after Morc’s death, and he ruled it much better than Morc had done - after all, the land and the king are one.
IV
MOTHERS SHIPTON AND LUDLAM
Mothers Shipton and Ludlam are witches, although this is an occupation;whatever species they are is unknown. They are believed to have learnt their magic at Tomtaniel Academy in the Sky, located in the floating city of Kalluna-Morgen. Needless to say, their history remains somewhat unknown, and their real names have been drowned beneath the sea. The origin for their rift is somewhat unknown; as far as anyone can tell, they have always been feuding. Mother Shipton is representative of evil, while Mother Ludlam is representative of good. The gods have occasionally tried to intervene with their feud, but after they discovered that they needed to be in conflict, decided it was better to leave them to fend for themselves. Both witches live on the world of Zenaldian, where they do whatever pleases them; Mother Ludlam provides herbs and charms to the local population of Cellulites, the species which governs the nation of Cellula, while Mother Shipton works towards actively hurting people with fleshdolls.
One time Mother Shipton was killed by Mother Ludlam, and for a while nothing much happened. Afterwards she returned while wandering around in a forest with some wildmen. When asked how she had returned, she said, “Nay. ‘Tis part of mine design.” When questioned further, she responded, “Just a flesh wound, dude.” Shipton also manipulated a young kemonomimi pup with magical abilities at the Interdimensional Convention of Malefic Presences, one of whom was the enchanter Zephyron. On Zephyron himself, Shipton would comment, “He looked young, but there was something about him that felt old, like he was older than the world itself.” When Ludlam was not opposing her, Shipton was being opposed by Aerolith and her Witch Bane abilities. Shipton also had the habit of making ridiculous, implausible prophecies in order to provide suitable income for her. After all, there is nothing glamorous about witchcraft, and it does not draw in much money. Therefore, Mother Shipton did whatever she could in order to get ahead in the World Oak.
It is because of their feuding that Zeta Toad, one of the World Oak’s most notorious criminals, had the need to constantly rip them off. In the guise of an amphibian interested in their well-being, he would con a lot of gemstones off them and leave them unawares. He would sell these gemstones, highly valuable magical ones, at the black market in Zumzuzae known as the DarkWozzock. Clients from all over the more morally ambiguous members of multi-species aristocracy paid handsomely for them. Zeta would later steal a box of fleshdolls from Mother Shipton for the exact same purpose.
V
THE WEASELS OF THE WILD PARK
The weasels reside in the Wild Park on World Tapalupu, their world of origin, which is also the home of the sorcerer Maistro Tzeppetho. The Wild Park is a region of field and forest, where the weasels devour the local wildlife greedily. Wherever they acquired their magic remains somewhat unknown, but it is rumoured that they copied it off Tzeppetho. Because of their ability to shapeshift, they can turn into men with strange grins. The weasels also make a living in the criminal underworld of various other worlds, because they are also able to create portals in order to travel between them. They make a living in some worlds, selling dubious religious merchandise; they have had some dealings with Zeta Toad (see Appendix B); when he left Muttongard, he stole a mysterious disc which he sold to them. They in turn sold it at the Amengerth Black Market, the World Oak’s premier site for the sale of bogus religious items.
The weasels have a complicated naming system which is largely compressed: the first two letters of a name are the name itself, the second two are the patronymic. The third two letters are the matronymic and the final two are the title. For example, TiDuDaLe translates to “Timus, son of Dunus, son of Dausus, the Leper.” Despite this, they do not have a spoken or written language of their own, but communicate in a debased form of Multiversal Vasik. The weasels worship a deity known as the Gleo; who this deity is remains somewhat unknown, but some have speculated that they in fact worship either a humanoid ox or a glorified princess. The weasels reluctantly cooperate with the dwarves on occasion; both species are familiar with each other and both species do not get on well with each other at all. The only reason they cooperate is because sometimes situations can get so dire that the two species have no choice.
The weasels subsist on a diet of white chocolate rabbits, and they exercise regularly as a result of this. As a result, their bodies are extremely lithe and capable of avoiding detection by everyone else. They are, however, fearful of the Wolfmen of World Tapalupu, who reside in a mountain city ruled over by a God-Emperor. They also fear the birdmen of Tamalet Caverns, who reside in the mountains governed by their chieftain, the Ornest Eagle. The weasels avoid contact with these species whenever they can, because they’re especially fearful of being eaten alive. The Chief Weasel is elected by lot, or pur as they refer to it, but is essentially a monarch in all but name. Due to the potential of a name gaining control (understandable paranoia on their part), all Chief Weasels have records of their names erased, and they take on a new name, one which is more complicated than the rest and therefore unpronounceable, once they assume office. The current Chief Weasel is Chief Qwndflkjrgbdhijrkmnbvrlk.
VI
THE FATES AND THE FURIES
The Fates are a species of dementor-like spectres that cannot be directly observed by most people. Deities can see them, and pseudo-immortals can. The Fates are nevertheless vital to the structure of the multiverse itself because they control the destinies of everyone in it, even the gods themselves. There are no individual Fates, because most of them do not have identities of their own. However, the most prominent and the most powerful are known as Clotho, Lachesis and Atropos; however, these are not names, but merely titles created to denote the importance of their high station. They command the lesser Fates. They are distinguished by their ability to create temporary bodies through which to interact with and speak with people. The concepts of good and evil do not apply to the Fates, since they are above them. However, they have been known to be merciful in the past; there have been some moments when they revived people from the dead, but only because it isn’t their fated time to die. It is commonly believed that the Fates acquire knowledge of what is destined to happen from a being living outside the multiverse, and work to enforce what is destined to happen.
The Furies are the spirits of angry vengeance, and they latch themselves onto people, except when those people have wills strong enough to drive them away. Much like the Fates, the Furies have no physical form; unlike the Fates, they appear as tornados or gusts of wind. However, similarly to the Fates, the Furies have the ability to create temporary physical forms to speak through. Since the Furies are inclined towards vigilante justice, they influence events towards a person’s demise, whether or not they truly deserve it. Much like the Fates, the Furies are governed by the most important ones, which are named Alecto, Megaera and Tisiphone, and they alone do not possess the ability to create bodies to manifest; all the Furies have this ability.
They appear as whatever species is being pursued, but they always have fangs, claws and batlike wings. They have been known to lie in wait on windy days, since the wind that already exists allows them to blend with their surroundings. However, in certain instances, they can be dispelled or warded off when a person is forgiven for what they have done. They mostly work to avenge murder and the most grievous criminal activity, not necessarily petty theft or childish squabble. However, they can be summoned to act on a person’s behalf, whether or not they wish to, but it takes a very complicated ritual to do so.
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