CHAPTER ONE
In which we meet our hero, Nole, and experience his entrance into the world of theNoomimriver, and also meet Bjorn.
Nole had been busy, organising his large book collection, by genre and date of acquisition, and he was absolutely bored with it. More to the point, it was more than he could bear, and he hated every last minute and second or even hour of it. It was no wonder that he hurled anencyclopedia of chipmunks on the floor, kicked it and shrieked, “To heck with book organisation!” and stormed out of the house without even giving a second thought. He set off through the caverns that made up the way to his home and eventually came to the stairs that led up a tunnel to the outside world. He climbed those stairs, thinking, “Come on! Come on, you ninnywit!” Emerging in bright sunshine, he stood in awe of the landscape around him. He’d heard of this place, in legends and in song, but never had he gone out of the darkness to face the mighty Noomimriver! Just as he was lying on the luscious banks, he managed to see some sort of shape across the river from him, its back turned to the great wall of the ravine. A cylinder shape, no arms or legs, with a smile and a large nose. He stared at it. Hello, Nole, said a voice in his head. Nole smiled. “Hello, Bjorn.” Like to come over? “Well, it’s all very well to talk,” said Nole. The shape approached the bank and floated over the water, standing before Nole. Would you like to come with me for lunch? asked Bjorn. Nole said, “That’d be very nice, thank you.” A sandwich bag with a cress sandwich in it appeared out of thin air, with a bag with a host of other foodstuffs. There’s quite a lot in here, said Bjorn. What I always take. A boat appeared from thin air too. “Hod in geaven!” exclaimed Nole. The boat floated in the air and flew off away from the canyon. They eventually had lunch on a beach around the lake, where they talked. Across the lake was an island with a house shaped like a trapezium. Oh, that’s where old Gwaldr lives, said Bjorn. Eventually, they managed to seehim. Gwaldr was heaving his large, sulking body across the beach. “Hayo, Gwaldr!” criedNole. “Join us, won’t you?” Gwaldr sniffed the air, muttered, “Hmph! Country!” and disappeared down the bank. Oh, that’s just his way, admitted Bjorn. He lives with the Hermit on the island, both usually don’t like company. Also, he added, here come the Gwooglies. Now Gwooglies are a race of pear-shaped creatures with no arms, that can make things float in the air without touching them. They frowned at Bjorn before disappearing into the bushes.What an unusual race, Bjorn remarked. They multiply in the most unusual way. Nole, as he was keen to discover more of the world around him, asked, “Are you a magical creature?” Bjorn continued to smile. I am. “Who are you? Where is your home?” Oh, I don’t have one. I’m a homeless wanderer god, spurned and rejected by my other beings. Nole felt sorry for him. “Well, perhaps you might take lodging at my place.” That’d be extremely kind of you,replied Bjorn. And so they began their journey home on the flying boat. Back to Nole’shome, deep under the earth.
***
Beautiful place you’ve got here, I must say, admitted Bjorn as the two arrived at the home of our hero. “Thank you,” said Nole. And he went on to tell Bjorn about every object he owned, such as “that little gnome, Aunt Aeggie gave me that one” or “that’s a portrait of me grandpa over the fireplace- may-he-rest-in-peace”, and every time, Bjorn made the perfect audience. They sat in the two armchairs Nole had, and talked about things. What do you think we’ll do tomorrow? asked Bjorn. “Who the heck knows?” replied Nole. “I suppose you’ve noticed my feet are backwards?” Yes, said Bjorn. Nole pricked an ear up, and listened to some singing coming from the top of the tunnel. “Who’s that?” Oh, that’s just the Bezangas off on a ramble. They always go around rambling and laughing at this time of the year, on their way to hunt raccoon-dogs. “Who are the Bezangas?” Great dudes, replied Bjorn. They’re the greatest hunters under heaven, and they don’t care about anything else. Well, g’night. Nolenoticed that Bjorn’s eyes were now closed. How strange, he thought. So, instead of hesitating, he too fell fast asleep.
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