Tribute to DWJ concluded!

Hi, guys. This night marks the conclusion of my unofficial comic adaptation of Diana Wynne Jones’ The Sage of Theare. The reason I cut it off early is because I wish to pay attention to my other creative projects. The last page here is the title page, which could be considered the sixth.

Edit: It’s official! The Sage of Theare has just been expanded with a two-page spread detailing Imperion’s travels between the Related Worlds in an attempt to get rid of Thasper. Bonus points if you can get each Chrestomanci reference.

My Tribute to Diana Wynne Jones

Hi, guys! These are three pages of an eight-page webcomic I’ve been drawing, based on the short story The Sage of Theare by Diana Wynne Jones. The aesthetic I went with for Theare itself can best be described as eighteenth-century steampunk, despite the fact that the short story is implied to be modern. Problem is, it would be hard to do without it becoming a Percy Jackson ripoff. Chrestomanci’s hairstyle has been reappropriated into something more appropriate for manga, which is the style I use.

Dallben vs Gandalf

Hi, guys! This time I have decided to move on from fiction writing and started my own series of written rap lyrics. Inspired by Epic Rap Battles of History and its many parodies, it takes various literary characters and pits them against each other. This first one is Dallben vs Gandalf... give it up!

GANDALF

YOOOOOOO! CAN! NOT! PASS!

So get off your 300-year-old arse

I am the greatest Maia, you lazy bastard

You’re just a mere human, not a master

You don’t use your magic, all you do is sleep

The power of my bars would make Coll weep.

I’ve starred in a book and six lucrative flicks

You’ve only a crap Disney movie and a fanmade webcomic!

You made no big sacrifice, you fucked right off to heaven.

You’re no Welshman, sounds more like you’re from Devon.

Didn’t I hear you were blind, Kevin?

Go swallow some food from Gurgi’s magic bag

Or get it on with some big-bosomed hag

You’re so lazy that that wretched hack tonino4

made you a substance abuser who loves fucking whores.

DALLBEN

My spells were never meant to destroy, only to warn

But I’ll burn you so hard, Olorin‘s arse shall be scorched

In the fire that’ll consume Caer Dallben once I’m dead

Perhaps the Book’s lightning will scald Mithrandir’s head!

The White Rider? You’re even less of a fighter,

I saw better prowess in your veteran writer!

Even against the Balrog, you lay down and died

Lady Dôn help you if you herewith survive!

While I was raising a teenage kid and a fat white pig

You got drunk and high with a bunch of scrawny hobbits.

Magic is a great skill, as far as with you I can discern it

But wiser heads than yours will determine when you should learn it.

GANDALF

DO NOT TAKE ME FOR SOME CONJURER OF CHEAP TRICKS!

I DON’T EVEN WANT YOUR STUPID LESSONS IN MAGIC!

I’ll tie a big rope round your wrinkly balls,

And on your Fawking knees you shall crawl.

You swallowed a potion and got kicked out of home.

You got turned old, and you still continued to roam

I’m a servant of the Secret Fire, you’re nothing.

Maybe you should have chosen the harp or something.

I was helping fight against Melkor, you’re scared of eating dirt

You’re so sleepy and lax you let a boy do all the work.

You’re passive and let Arawn wreak havoc around you.

Rumours that you slept with Eilonwy surround you.

DUMBLEDORE:

Well, what about that, back on the stage again.

Now let’s see how you do in a real fight, Dallben.

Think you can beat Olorin? That’s just barmy

Grab yourself a taste of Dumbledore’s army.